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Thursday, 18 December 2014

Christmas missives

I wonder who it was who started the modern idea of sending out pretentious essays with Christmas cards. You know, the ones which tell in great detail what the sender has been doing all year, where they went on their holidays, what they saw on their holidays, how much money they spent and what they have bought during the year.
These things usually include little titbits about how they are spending their Christmas, how their adult kids are spending their Christmas, and other such enthralling information to waste more paper.
Please tell me, WHO THE HELL CARES?
More to the point, why do the authors of these things imagine anybody cares? How bloody pretentious can you get than to imagine everyone on your Christmas card list wants to know the details of your entire year.
Good grief! I would like to say I know nobody who would do that, but unfortunately that would not be true. I received one this morning, complete with photographs and I have to say, once more - who the hell cares?

And just to add, I also had an email from a cousin in Australia, a cousin I have never actually met, containing the 'Family Christmas Chronicle', so I thought I would just put here what my own Christmas chronicle would be like, assuming I wrote one.

It was in June that I discovered Diva's penchant for rolling in cowshit. We had been in that field many times before, but I suppose with the cows gone and the pats dried up, they were not so appealing. So, I took them both to the field the cows had recently vacated, not realising the danger. She was dripping green, wet, stinking cowshit all over the car on the way home and then to crown it all, I got home to find the hose pipe would not fit on the tap. I had to throw buckets of water over her, whilst trying to prevent her from going inside the house! What a laugh!

So what do you think? Would everyone on my Christmas card/email list be fascinated by my life?

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